There is a place that is not for you. There are several places, in fact. My best guess, quite frankly, would estimate the vast majority of places are not for you. If you’re anything like me, there is a particular place (or two, or three.. ahem) that is absolutely, undoubtedly, most-certainly NOT (never was, never will be) FOR you.
“There,” that ugly place you find yourself when you’re at your lowest.
It’s dark there, I know.
Depending how often you frequent or how long you’ve dwelled there, you may have found your eyes have grown accustomed to the dark. You can “see” now... it’s not so bad. There isn’t much to look at, but at least (I tell myself) it can’t get any worse. There’s no one around, but at least they can’t hurt or disappoint me. Better yet, I can’t hurt or disappoint them. If I’m far enough removed, I am convinced nothing more can go wrong and no one else has to get hurt.
If/when you find yourself there…
Crawl, hop, do whatever it is you have to do to get out of THERE.
It’s not that simple.
You are going to have to fight. Suit up, warrior. You were made for this. You need only to move forward. Forward, no matter the pace and (Lord, be with us) no matter the grace (or lack thereof) that you think you possess.
Be patient with yourself, every step of the way. Especially in the beginning. You are embarking on uncharted territory in an unfamiliar (nevertheless, absolutely accurate) direction. Not to mention, if you’ve strayed as far as I have, you most certainly have some serious distance to cover. Don’t panic, you will get winded and your heart will beat much faster than you think it should. This just means you’re alive, aaand it’s probably been a while since you’ve traversed such great lengths. Give yourself time to adjust and adapt. You will gain the strength you need, and you will naturally develop momentum and coordination (eventually) as you continue to move.. forward!
You will grow weary, certainly. So, rest. Take the time you need when you need it. Your body, your mind, your spirit will tell you when you need to take a break. So, listen.
Listen to that whisper of a voice deep within, long-forgotten and wrongfully silenced. With time, this voice, your voice will not only become familiar it will grow in its boldness. All the other voices competing for your attention will fade away. You need not focus on silencing them. Your inner voice will be so loud and so fierce that your ears will acknowledge and fixate only on this. Your ears will begin to recognize, along with your heart, this yours is the voice of a warrior. Soon, your battle cry will emerge.